(traffic whooshing) (horn honking) - I always tell myself, man, I was meant to be a mom more than anything.

I love being a mom.

I always make sure that my kids are my number one priority.

Kids, work, then me.

That's how I am.

Zolie!

Hi, baby.

How was your day?

Did you have a good day?

Did you eat your stuff in your lunchbox?

Lemme see.

- All I ate was candy.

- Lemme see.

Just the candy?

Zolie is six years old.

She is an honor roll student.

She got all A's in school.

She will joke around with you, and you know like, "Let's play games!"

If someone doesn't have candy, she'll go into her bag and be like, "Here's some candy I got, I got some if you want some."

She's a sweetheart.

Let's wait for your brother, come on.

Yeah.

Oziel!

My oldest is Oziel, he's eight.

What did you do today in school?

- Math.

- Math?

He loves math.

He's like, "Mom, what's 12 times 12?

144."

And I was like, "You didn't even gimme a chance to answer!"

- So how was work?

- What kind of math is it?

Division?

- Division only.

- Division only?

- Yeah.

Okay, now what did you do for work?

- I had to pick up three people today.

- That's it?

- But two people canceled.

- Wow, why?

- I don't know.

He's always by my side.

Like, "Mom, are you okay?

Mom, do need help?

Mom, I could rub your feet."

He's my little rock.

- At lunch, they were just talking so much.

- Oh, so you guys all got in trouble?

- I wasn't even talking.

I was in the middle being quiet.

- I am currently in a shelter.

Been here for about a little over three months.

I was ashamed at first, because I felt like I have to be more responsible.

How did I let myself get to this point?

- Can we get a bike for Christmas?

- A bike?

I lost my home because me and my mom and my sister, we got into a really big argument.

We were sharing an apartment, and as my sister was getting ready for work, she just kind of blew up.

Was like, "You know, the house is really a mess.

You're just sleeping here."

'Cause at the time, I was not working.

So she, you know, she had all the responsibility with the bills.

So we just started arguing, and then my mom came and we started arguing, and you know, a lot of unkind words said to each other.

It was kind of like, "Get out."

Then, we were outta there.

- My son was like, "What's gonna happen?"

He's worried.

Where are we gonna go, where are we gonna sleep?

Do we have to go to a park or you know, what's gonna happen?

And I was just like, "I'm not sure what's gonna happen.

I've never been in this situation."

At that point, I did think I was gonna sleep in my car.

So I just thought it was best for JJ to be with his dad.

My youngest, JJ, he's going to be two soon.

I texted his dad saying, you know, this is the situation, you know, give me some time and you know, I'll take him back, and we can go back to our regular schedule.

So I called 311, and said, "Hey, I'm homeless, and I need somewhere to go."

And I ended up here.

I didn't know what to expect here.

Neither did my kids.

But once we, you know, talked to the staff, and they let us know, okay, these are the rules.

I found a daycare, started working, and we just, you know, day by day, we started settling in.

- What do you need help with, Mom?

- I need you to pick up the clothes in the closet, the dirty clothes that are in the closet, and put it in this hamper.

- [Oziel] Got it.

- Ready?

- [Oziel] Yeah.

- [Person On Phone] A clown case.

- They try to make it feel like, you know, you have a little temporary home, but it's not, you know?

You have like, you know, a room, and you have to share it with your kids.

You have to share your bathroom with other people.

And I feel like I'm stuck in a box.

It gets messy very quickly.

Whoops.

Kids get frustrated, because you know we're in here most of the time, because they're not used to being confined in one room.

It's almost time for dinner.

Hello?

Let's roll.

The rules here is you can't have food in your room.

We could order food only on Friday through Sunday.

If you like, leave for the day, or you know you have work or drop off the kids, you have to get a pass, a week pass.

And we are only supposed to have either Saturday or Sunday to go out on the weekend.

And you only get to stay out until 6:00 PM on the weekends.

- What'd you guys have for lunch?

- Pizza.

- Pizza?

- And also one was just pepperoni, lots of cheese.

- [Oziel] Guess what?

It was the best day of my life.

- Was it?

Okay, so what do you guys want?

Mashed potatoes and the chicken?

- [Oziel] Yeah.

- Okay, three trays with mashed potatoes and the chicken pot pie.

- [Oziel] Ew, what is that?

- [Jacqueline] Chicken pot pie, what do you mean?

- [Oziel] That's not a chicken pot pie.

- [Jacqueline] Look how delicious that looks.

That's really hard on the kids too, the food.

Did you try the pot pie yet?

- [Zolie] I don't like it.

- What do you mean you don't like it?

They're used to my cooking.

It's good.

It's been tough, especially for my oldest.

He's been acting out because he's frustrated.

He's ready to get outta here, as I am as well.

But I always tell my kids we just have to follow the rules for a little bit, but it's gonna be worth it at the end because we're gonna have our place.

And that's what I tell them.

We're gonna have our little home.

10 people wait in line for the rollercoaster.

Two people sit in each car.

Circle to find the total number of cars needed.

- I know.

- Okay, go ahead.

- Five.

All right, we are supposed to do the front, and then do the second one tomorrow.

- [Jacqueline] When is this due by?

- Tomorrow.

- I'm gonna text your teacher right now and ask her.

- Say hi.

- No, I wanna see.

You better not be lying to me.

- No, we're supposed to do it today, 'cause we got it yesterday.

- Oh, you see?

- I was telling the truth.

- Mm-hmm.

For everything, he has something to say.

And I was like, "You are gonna be a great lawyer."

He's like, "Mom, I don't wanna be a lawyer.

I wanna be a police officer."

I was like, "No, I think you should be a lawyer, because sometimes when you're talking to me, you be catching me on my own stuff."

And then I like, "Okay, I can't argue with you because you're right.

But if you wanna be a police officer, I'm okay with that too."

Um.

- We're done, bye.

- Put it away.

Zolie.

- [Oziel] Zolie!

- Homework time.

- [Oziel] Yeah, Zolie!

- She wants to be a veterinarian.

She's been saying that since she was about three years old, and she hasn't changed her mind yet.

But she's like, "I wanna make sure I can fix all the animals, Mom.

I wanna make sure that they're okay."

And I was like, "If you do good in school, and do everything that you know you need to do, you could do whatever you want."

Do you wanna get a book so we can read?

Go get a book.

I'll make sure you guys are okay, so you can focus on your studies.

As long as you guys make sure you're happy, because when you get your career, it's what you're going to do for the rest of your life.

You have the capacity for anything, yes.

You are a marvel.

Aw.

So sweet.

All right, let's go do our chore, and then we can go outside.

So when I first got here, I had to sweep and mop the laundry room, and then it changed to mop the day room.

Yeah, be careful.

I told you that I got a different chore.

And now it's clean the counters in the kitchen area, and we have to do that in the morning and in the evening.

- [Zolie] Can we go to the park now?

- Yep, I'm done.

Hold on, I'm gonna kick it.

(Jacqueline laughing) I told you to watch out.

I came in here saying, "You know what?

I'm gonna get my life together."

Because I don't want my kids to ever be in this situation again.

I don't want them to feel like that.

I don't want them to feel how I felt growing up, going house to house, school to school.

My dad passed away two months before I was born from a drug overdose.

My mom, she was, her drugs and her boyfriend were her priority growing up.

For my first couple of years, I lived with my grandparents, and then I ended up with my mom, then my aunt and my uncle.

And even as a teenager, I was still being bounced around.

The stuff that I was doing, 18, 19, even like 17, was not okay.

I could have ended up as a drug addict, but I didn't because of my kids.

(gentle music) I've seen what my mom did to us.

She would leave us.

I was babysitting my sister at five years old for a whole weekend, and I wasn't gonna put my kids through that.

No, no, no.

I told him, even when we was in my belly, you have no idea how you saved me.

You have no idea how much love I'm going to give you.

I'm content with with my kids, that's it.

That's all that matters to me.

JJ, he's my last baby.

I call him my little tula bean.

Ever since he was born, he'll run around, he'll grab stuff, he'll start fighting with his brother and sister, jumping on top of 'em, laughing.

(JJ squealing) He's my little ball of joy.

And I communicated with his dad that I needed him to watch him until I can get everything, you know, situated.

'Cause you know, he is young, he needs a lot of attention.

But I don't know what he's thinking.

And he just decided, well, I want full custody.

I don't want you to have any rights, and you can't see him.

We had originally agreed on me seeing him on the weekends, and I always text him in advance like, "Hey, Saturday or Sunday work for you?"

He won't text me back.

He's supposed to allow me my parenting time, and he hasn't.

I miss him so much.

And it's so hard not seeing him on a daily basis, because that's my baby, and I'm used to being with him all the time.

And I know he misses me too.

And hearing his brother and sister say, "Mom, I miss JJ, when are we gonna see JJ?

What are we gonna do?"

I miss my baby.

And it hurts, it really does, it hurts.

(liquid sloshing) Come on, wakey wakey.

I can see it in their face.

Like, they're sad.

They're tired of the food here.

They're tired of just being here.

At this point, I'm just hoping for an apartment to come through.

I had applied for an apartment and then we didn't get it.

My case manager did find me another place on 49th and Michigan.

I have been approved, waiting for the landlord to get back.

Where are your shoes at?

You have everything ready?

Go get your book bag on.

I'm tired too, but you guys gotta go to school, and I gotta go to work.

I always tell them your job right now is school.

You have to be responsible no more no matter what.

Sometimes I don't want to go to work today, but I have to go to work.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Bye, Zolie, have a great day.

- Bye.

- As soon as I drop them off, I take the bus and I'm headed straight to work.

It'll take me maybe like 45 minutes to get there.

Thank you.

But hopefully with my housing, that will all change, because it would be a lot closer from, you know, where I live to my job.

I'm a bus operator, and I drive the shuttle buses at the University of Chicago.

Well, since I'm only working part-time, if I don't get any extra hours, I'm making maybe like almost $400 every two weeks.

I am broke, I have nothing, and that's what I tell my kids too.

'Cause they'll be like, "Mom, can we get this?"

And I tell 'em, "No, not right now."

But you just got paid!

I know, but right now we can't do it.

Thank you.

- [Driver] You're welcome, have a good one.

- You as well.

Trying to put in as much hours as I can, so I can make sure that they have a good Christmas.

I always put them first, even if I need shoes.

But if my daughter or one of my sons needs something, I'm always gonna put them first.

My mom, you know, growing up, she didn't put us first.

We did have a rocky start rebuilding our relationship 'cause I was angry.

I didn't wanna talk to her at all.

I didn't want anything to do with her.

And slowly, you know, she did reach out to me.

We started talking, you know, here and there.

You know, she hasn't used in in years, and I think that's what helped us as siblings, get a relationship with their mom again.

The kids really enjoy being with their grandma.

Like, "We're gonna grandma's house today?"

I'm like, "Yes."

- [Jacqueline's Mom] Hey.

- Come on, Oziel.

- Come on in.

Hi, papa.

- I try to take them on the weekends, 'cause I'm usually off on the weekends.

- [Jacqueline] From the hospital?

Hey.

- Mom!

- [Jacqueline] Come on, she's on the phone.

- We got beans, or unless you want- - You wanna go to the store with me?

- We got bacon.

- That's Aubrey.

- This door is hard to twist.

Is that why Jose's always having problems with it?

- [Jacqueline's Mom] Mm-hmm, probably, mija.

- You have in mind what we need to get?

- Yeah, I know what we're gonna get.

Hey, Mija, let's go over there, baby.

- [Jacqueline] Cross.

(Jacqueline's Mom speaking in foreign language) Look, Mom, I found you.

- [Jacqueline's Mom] Huh?

- There you are on your broomstick.

Oh my god, Mom.

Guess what happened?

You know Nubia?

- Yeah.

- They got her.

- What do you mean?

- I called her in the morning yesterday.

- What do you mean they got her?

- 'Cause she's on probation.

- Doing drugs?

- She went to her probation officer high.

- Oh man, that's sad, mija.

- [Jacqueline] I was really rooting for her, you know?

- It's 'cause drugs are the the most hardest thing.

You need a good support group.

- Yeah.

- You need, you know, a lot.

- But I always told her that if she needed me, you know?

- Yeah.

It's 'cause you really need a support group, baby.

It's not as easy as one would think.

We have a lot of demons inside that sometimes just don't heal.

And that's just the way it is, baby.

- So yeah, now I got nobody in there.

- It's all right.

- So hopefully my housing comes through fast.

- It will, you'll see.

Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, help us find a home.

- I always tell myself, even though I didn't have the best mother growing up, that's the only mother I have.

That's the only one I get.

And maybe, you know, she wasn't the greatest, but now that she is clean, and I see her trying to be a better her, and that's all I care about.

As long as she's a great grandma to my kids, I have to let go of everything.

I have to let go.

- [Jacqueline's Mom] I can't wait to cook, and I'm gonna make it with a lot of love.

- Don't make a mess over there.

When I was kicked out, I was angry at first.

They did try to, you know, text me, and call me like, "Where are you?

Are you okay?"

But I didn't respond to them at first.

I was like, if you really cared about me, you would've, you know, gave me some time to work and find my own place, or you know, whatever the situation was.

- And you know, living in the street, if something were to happen to you or whatever, you know, I kept on thinking that.

Like, where are they?

What happened?

You know?

- But at least I was able to get into a shelter.

So.

Now I'm okay, the kids are okay, I'm working- - I know, mija, and it makes me happy.

- [Jacqueline] I'm about to get my housing.

- You know what, Jackie?

That's the thing I love about you.

You believe in you.

That's amazing.

You know?

- [Jacqueline] I try.

- Other people that used to get unstuck or they don't, and not you.

I know like between, you know, the kids and stuff, as a mom, you know, it's not that you compare them, but I know, I know, Jackie, that if something has to be done, if I tell you, you'll do it to the T. That's why, Jackie, sometimes I always count on you a little more, or argue with you more.

- [Jacqueline] Yeah, I know.

- But at least now, we're more comfortable with each other.

You know, emotionally, you know, we still have a lot of healing to do.

But for the most part, it feels awesome.

The house is peaceful.

- [Jacqueline] And hopefully we can meet at my apartment.

- Hopefully we could cook.

- [Jacqueline] Yeah, and cook over there.

- We could make some cookies or something.

(gentle music) I love you, Jackie.

- I love you too, Mom.

We'll make it with no more arguing.

Trying to chop each other's heads off.

The food is almost done?

- Well, I gotta go check on it.

- [Jacqueline] All right, let's go check.

- So I know we did your plan review for this month already, that you are waiting an apartment to view.

- [Jacqueline] Yeah, so someone already grabbed it, but I called on Friday, and she told me about an apartment.

When I applied for the first apartment, I was really excited and then it didn't come through, and I had to let the kids know, and that's what hurt me the most.

Because you know, I told the kids, "Well, I found an apartment!"

And then I'm telling them, "Well, now we don't."

And then the second apartment, and I had to tell them, you know, again, we didn't get it.

So for the third one that I found out, I decided not to tell them anything, because you know, their emotions, you know, I could feel it, you know?

Their stress of being in here.

You know, when my son is telling me, "Well, Mom, I thought you said, you know, we're leaving soon, we're leaving soon."

You know, so it breaks my heart that you know, I can't, you know, I don't have control.

- And if you don't get it, she's just gonna keep looking.

- Keep looking.

- Okay, well hopefully you get that.

- [Jacqueline] I know.

- Because it's been a long time.

- I know, I'm hoping it.

- [Person Behind Desk] Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, it's hard and it's difficult and I'm frustrated, and I wanna get out here, but I have to be patient.

- [Person Behind Desk] Is there anything else?

- And one more thing.

I need to get a pass to go, 'cause you know how I told you about my son?

- Mm-hmm.

- I was supposed to see him yesterday, but his dad, he didn't respond to me.

And then today, he's not responding to me either.

So I'm gonna have to do a wellbeing check.

- Okay, yeah, that's fine.

- Which I really don't want to do it, but he's leaving me no choice.

I try to talk to him, like, "Hey, what's going on with JJ?

Is he okay?

You know, on the weekend, we agreed that I can see him, you know?"

But now he's like, "Well you could only see him for two hours, and I have to be there for those two hours."

And I'm like, "The judge didn't say anything about that."

He's taking advantage of the situation that I'm in.

- Please stop.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- [Jacqueline] Please stop.

- [Oziel] Why?

- Yes, it's the bus!

- [Oziel] Why, why?

- Oziel.

- [Oziel] Yes?

- Oziel.

- [Oziel] Yes?

- Stop!

(bus beeping) You should've let me pick up your hair.

Hello?

- [Person On Phone] What's happening with JJ?

- I'm on my way now.

- [Person On Phone] Are you serious?

- I texted him Friday, no text back.

Texted him on Saturday, still no response.

I texted him this morning, and still nothing.

- [Person On Phone] So what are you gonna do?

- I'm gonna have to do a wellbeing check on him.

And then, you know how you get though, like the nerves, your nerves start getting all crazy?

- [Person On Phone] Yeah.

- And like, that's how I'm starting to get.

You know, the closer we get over there.

And I'm trying to stay- - [Person On Phone] Positive.

- And calm.

- [Person On Phone] You're not doing anything bad.

You're checking on your baby.

- Yeah, I need to know how my baby is.

- [Person On Phone] I see Oziel in the background.

- Yeah, he's sleeping.

You see?

He woke up grumpy today.

Stop!

You're really misbehaving today, Oziel, and I don't need this right now.

Come on.

Wait, you guys.

He's acting like a fool right now.

Stay right here, don't move.

(Jacqueline knocking) (Jacqueline sighing) Going through this big mess with him is just ridiculous.

Yeah, I need to do a wellbeing check for my son, JJ.

I'm here at his house.

We have to communicate whether you like it or not.

We have to communicate.

It should be the first floor.

- The first floor?

- Yeah, if his mom is there.

I'm not gonna put JJ in the middle of what happened between us.

That has nothing to do with him, and I'm not gonna let him suffer because of how I feel towards you or how you feel towards me.

That should never affect our child.

Even though we didn't work out, now we have to work out as parents.

- [Officer] JJ, your son's not currently at the residence, but he is okay, he's well.

That the order stipulates, he is the full custodian.

- No.

- [Officer] So right now it's her word against yours.

- He's just being so mean about everything.

Instead of, you know, saying, "Okay this is the mother of my child, let me try."

You know, I'm not asking you to give me money.

I'm not asking you to help me find an apartment.

I was just asking for you to take your son for a little bit until I got everything situated.

Just the report number or whatever you guys call it.

Thank you.

- Mom?

- Yes?

- Since we can't see JJ, can we get a lunch?

- Can you wait please?

Like, I'm on the verge of breaking down right now, and you guys don't get it.

Please stop.

Okay, you don't know how hard this is on me right now.

(Jacqueline sobbing) Okay, just please.

(Jacqueline sobbing) (gentle music) Having a, I'm sorry, I'm about to cry.

But having a mom, you know, not having a mom growing up, I always said I'm gonna be the best mom.

I'm gonna do it for them.

I'm gonna make sure they're first, and I wanna make sure that they know my mom, she loves me.

She's gonna make sure I have everything.

This is my favorite picture of him.

I'm gonna be that mom that's gonna be there even if I'm struggling or whatever the situation is.

I'm gonna be there for them.

They're my world and that's all I live for.

(Jacqueline laughing) My church is having Fall Fest.

(children laughing) They have hot dogs, chips, candy apples, trick or treating for the kids.

Say, "Trick or treat!"

- Trick or treat.

- Say, "Thank you."

One, two, three.

Okay, ready?

Smile.

- Oh my god!

- You guys are so dramatic.

And they have hay rides to see like the neighborhood that was here, and the history behind it.

That one right there is my favorite.

- [Oziel] Which one, that one?

- That corner one right there with the spider on it.

- [Oziel] Oh yeah.

Hello!

- I know lately they've been picking up on my emotions of everything that I'm going through.

But I try to, you know, tell them, you know, don't worry about it.

It's not your worry.

I just want them to enjoy themselves.

Have fun, be a kid.

Okay, you're almost there.

Okay, come on, one more.

You did it!

He did it!

Keep going, keep going.

She's conquering her fears.

There she comes.

You got this, Zolie!

Did you like it?

- I loved it!

I wanna go again.

- Okay, go ahead.

No, you got it?

(gentle music) - I feel like when I take them out, and we're able to do things like this, they're not reminded of I'm in a shelter.

I'm using it right now, baby.

Hopefully by Thanksgiving, we won't be here.

But if we are, so be it.

We still have Christmas.

- Lemme see.

- Yeah, it's beautiful.

- Thank you.

I told him not a big tree, 'cause I don't have that much money, but a little tree is fine with us.

How did this eyeball end up on my bed?

(Oziel laughing) It's my eyeball.

(kids giggling) - Oh, he's hot.

He's burning.

He is burning.

Okay, I'm gonna buy him some medicine on Uber.

What did I tell you about not zipping up this jacket?

- It's not even hot, it's not even cold.

- I don't care.

Do you see your brother?

He's sick.

Do I need another child that's sick?

No, come on.

Your poor brother, and you're not thinking about him?

No.

(Zolie giggling) Not thinking about him at all.

- [Zolie] I am.

And also Grandpa.

- [Jacqueline] And JJ?

- [Zolie] Yeah.

- [Jacqueline] My little tula bean.

- [Zolie] Yeah.

- Ready?

Come on.

- [Zolie] Yeah!

- Gimme a hug.

I love you.

Have a great day, okay?

- [Zolie] Two kisses?

- Yeah.

I'm watching you.

Go back to sleep.

I'm just putting something cold on your head.

(siren wailing) How do you feel?

- A little bit wobbly, so.

- You feel like you're gonna throw up?

Does your throat hurt?

- A little bit.

- You need to blow your nose?

I heard that you guys make chicken noodle soup for someone who's like, sick?

Would you guys be able to do that for my son for dinner?

Okay, thank you.

Oziel, drink your Gatorade, okay?

You have to stay hydrated.

The medicine broke his fever, because that's what I was worried about, the the fever.

I always panic when my kids are sick.

My poor baby.

You okay?

So hopefully it stays down, but I just want him to rest.

- [Person On Phone] Keep the change.

- Right now, I'm gonna call my housing, and see if there's any updates on the application that I put in for the apartment.

And hopefully she answers.

(phone ringing) She likes to say this is rapid, rapid housing, but I've had this since September.

It's November.

It's not so rapid, is it?

But all I could do is wait and just see.

(gentle music) (siren wailing) You know, when we do get our own place, you know, we'll be able to decorate the whole thing, instead of just the window sill.

I had set some goals for myself, and I'm going to accomplish those goals no matter what it takes.

I see my kids in their own room playing.

I see me cooking.

We looked for another apartment.

I just told the kids, you know, let's just still be positive.

Did you guys talk?

Is he like your best friend or something?

You guys talk every day?

- Zolie in a tree!

What's his name again?

- No, we're not starting that.

Don't do it.

She's in first grade.

(Jacqueline and Oziel laughing) I look at my kids and I say, you know, like, what kind of a mom would I be if I were to give up?