- [Bradley] You're getting dressed for your- - My going away party, my permanent going away party.

- [Bradley] Right.

- I know what I have and the drugs help me, but this thing is gonna kill me anyway, you know?

There's no getting outta this thing alive, impossible.

- [Bradley] I mean, do you have any thoughts that now that it's about 30 minutes away or 20 minutes away or something?

- Oh sure.

You know?

I mean, to really do it, it's like, you know, Im here, my whole theory, gotta do it, gotta do it, gotta do it.

I know I gotta do it, but man, when you really gotta do it.

- [Bradley] I just want you around.

Like, I don't want you to do it.

- I know, I know.

(classical presenting music) - [Bradley] When most people think of seizures, this is what they imagine.

(suspenseful music) But when my friend Jack has one, you might not even notice.

He had one the other day, and I quickly took this video with my phone.

Jack drifts away for a few minutes.

His body goes numb and his brain loses the ability to understand language.

It's nuts.

Then he comes back.

- [Bradley] You okay?

- [Bradley] An hour later at his place, the guy was doing the funky chicken.

(upbeat funky music) When the seizures kept coming, he started asking me to document his life story.

But I kept putting him off.

(footsteps clacking) Then Jack gave me a key to where all of his stuff is stored.

Photos, videos, and diaries.

He told me to use these things to tell the story of how he, Jack, was going to die soon.

We've known each other for more than 20 years.

He's been to all my major life events and that's my wedding.

Jack was the best man at my wedding.

I wasn't yet convinced to start working on Jack's biopic, but the guy was suffering.

Maybe there was a way I could help him get through a rough time.

- [Jack] Oh, is this so I can watch my own movies?

- [Bradley] No, so you can make your own.

- [Jack] Oh, make my own.

- [Bradley] Some people hate the way they sound.

they hate the way they look.

- [Jack] No, it doesn't bother me.

- [Bradley] I mean, we're basically saying you're gonna get really sick.

- Yes, that's right.

- [Bradley] And we're saying that you're gonna like, I don't even wanna say it, but like, you might go one day.

- Yeah.

- [Bradley] You want the whole thing on tape, on like- - Yeah, completely.

- [Bradley] Why?

That's insane.

- Completely because of the, you know, the brain damage I've had, I can't really write like I used to be able to.

And so, I need some other way or would like to have another way just to kinda tell a little story.

(upbeat jazz music) - [Bradley] I found Jack's old journal that he kept as a young man.

I could see that he was searching to figure out who he was.

The pages were filled with his yearnings, mostly his desire to find a soulmate.

Then he met Jennifer.

- Jack and I had been dating for two years, and we were at that place in our relationship where it looked like it was gonna work.

So we got an apartment together.

I was 22 at that time.

We moved in in January and by February he was in surgery.

Brain surgery.

(suspenseful jazz music) All I knew was I love him.

I'm not leaving.

I mean, that just didn't enter my mind.

- Right.

- And I'll be here.

(suspenseful jazz music) So, his prognosis was pack it up, you probably have six months.

But for some reason I didn't believe it.

(ominous music) - [Bradley] Jack was awake throughout the surgery.

(ominous music) He said that he'll never forget the sound of the drill penetrating his skull.

(ominous music) - Here's the scar from the surgery.

They cut, see, from the center of the head, and they went up around here, and they went in front of the ear.

It's the strangest thing.

I don't know if you can tell, but my face looks different than it used to.

- Jack has an announcement to make, so if everyone can listen up.

(crowd cheering) - Basically, the news that I got was that I was terminal.

I had one doctor told me I'd be dead in six months.

You know, terrible news.

And they took out 90% of the tumor when they did the surgery.

There's still 10% left.

And the 10% that was left has shrunk and has disappeared.

(crowd cheering) And you know, for all you know, we're getting married, coming up.

(crowd cheering) I don't have anything else to say, but Im going to beat the crap out of this thing right now crap out of this thing right now - So, lets do it!

(upbeat ceremonious music) (crowd cheering) (upbeat jazz music) - That's it, bingo.

This is all Jack's early videos.

He just recorded tons of stuff, and he made music videos.

1987?

- [Jack] Action.

(upbeat music) ♪ I had a plan ♪ And my plan was to rock the land ♪ ♪ I took the microphone from the stand ♪ ♪ Over 50 grand on the local tip ♪ ♪ Now Im back to make the people trip ♪ ♪ One, nine, nine - So Jack is by nature an artist.

He once played guitar and he once managed bands, and he once had great business ideas that all of this he could fulfill, and all of this he was great at.

And interesting, all of this is also what was I found attractive about him.

(upbeat music) ♪ Confusion ♪ People, dont you know ♪ what were going through - But after that first brain tumor, he lost so much of that part of his brain somehow that he was afraid to play guitar again.

- So this is taken, you see, January 24th, 1994.

These are the brain tumors.

You see all that light color?

Here, this is where it was beforehand, the cells.

And this is after the surgery.

You see how they took it out?

- [Bradley] Oh, it's just like completely gone.

Tell me what size- - It looks like in between a golf ball and a tennis ball to me.

Not a softball, that'd be bad.

A bowling ball would be the worst.

- [Bradley] The messy truth about brain surgery is that it's not an exact science.

20 years earlier, Jack's doctors tried to remove the cancer but not cut into any healthy brain tissue, and it seemed to work.

But now, with all the seizures happening, they started taking scans again.

(mysterious jazz music) And that's when we discovered that the tumor had never really gone away.

It was wreaking havoc with Jack's brain, removing chunks of language and erasing his memories.

And it was making it impossible for Jack to do his job leasing apartments.

(mysterious jazz music) - Because of what I have, the brain tumor, it's becoming very difficult.

I mean, just to do basic things.

And I've had trouble getting into units 'cause there's a little code you have to put in, and I can't figure out the code so I can't get in.

And I panic, you know?

I sent the wrong check to the wrong owner.

You know, that's bad.

And then I had another situation yesterday where I took the wrong keys.

And when that starts happening, you go, uh-oh man, this is it.

(whimsical jazz music) - [Bradley] Jack quit his job and spent countless hours by himself at home.

And unbeknownst to us, Jack was concocting his plan.

(whimsical jazz music) - I just got home one day after work and he was like, "I quit my job."

I was like, "Hello?

Could we have talked about it first?"

He's like, "I have a brain tumor."

"Yes you do, I'm okay with that.

But can we still have a conversation?

We're still a couple, we still make decisions together.

We still make plans together.

I'm left with this.

Could we have at least discussed it?"

My God.

I mean that just, right when he said that, that just like... - [Bradley] I mean, 'cause there's financial implications for that.

- Of course, there are.

(cellphone chiming) - Hello, this is Jack.

Oh, hey, Dr. Levin.

- [Dr. Levin] The tumor has increased somewhat.

In the past when you looked at it, you realize that it has slowly grown over the last plus two years.

- [Jennifer] So would he have to be on the chemo off and on for the next- - I would typically treat his tumor six to eight months, five days, every 28 days.

- [Jennifer] Okay.

- I mean, just so you know, no disrespect, but I'm not gonna do chemo.

- [Jennifer] Jack.

He knows.

I'm asking.

- You're just trying to get- - [Jennifer] I'm asking.

I'm just asking the question.

- Okay.

- I wanna know.

- Okay.

- It's alright.

You take care.

It's a beautiful day out there.

- It is.

- [Jennifer] It is.

- Enjoy.

Thank you.

- Here's the question, if you are having more seizures, does that relate to tumor growth?

So that's my question.

- I know the answer to that.

- Oh, - It means it's growing.

That's what it means.

- How do you know?

- 'Cause that's what I've been told.

- Okay.

Well, I'm gonna ask him again.

- [Jennifer] You ask him again.

I'm gonna email him.

- Yeah, ask him again, - Because I wanna know.

- Okay.

- Because I love you.

- But he's a physician.

- But I don't rely on your memory.

- That's a very smart idea.

- [Jennifer] Okay.

(upbeat jazz music) - [Bradley] How you doing?

- I feel out of it, you know?

I had a seizure this morning.

Five seizures yesterday.

Yeah, five in one day is not good, you know?

The brain is infected by the tumor.

(computer beeping) My brain is gonna go.

My thinking mind.

I guess I really feel like a freak.

That's it, I feel like a freak right now.

How would you feel if you couldnt remember how to put it on the toaster.

How would you feel if you took cat food and put soap in it?

And I'm afraid I'm becoming more of a burden.

- [Bradley] To whom?

- Oh, to my wife, to my friends.

Maybe I'm making this out too much, but I want my wife to be happy again.

I mean, she's happy, but having to deal with this is not gonna make, you know, your partner feel happy.

- He made my life easy.

And then is it this side?

And so I was cared for.

I cared for others.

I cared for him and he cared for me.

And it was beautiful and it worked until now.

He knows what's coming.

He wants to head it off.

He knows that he's gonna lose mental capacity, before physical.

(whimsical jazz music) (door tapping) - [Jack] I met Torrie six months ago.

- [Torrie] You gonna go get it?

- Hey, Torrie.

- Hi.

- How you doing?

- Good, how are you?

Come on in.

- [Jack] She's my neighbor that lives two doors away from me.

Oh my God.

- [Torrie] A file?

- [Jack] She's an expert in end of life care.

I mean, amazing that she's just two doors away from me.

I have to sit down.

Don't talk to me.

- [Bradley] Torrie helped write California's End of Life Options Act.

- But this is happening everyday - [Bradley] Before this conversation, Jack had no idea that such a law existed.

- You have to have two doctors who attest that you are of sound mind and that you're terminal.

And then you get a prescription.

- A prescription?

- You get a prescription - For death.

Here you go.

- You go to the pharmacy.

- The pharmacy.

- Right.

- [Jack] The pharmacy.

- The pharmacy.

(classical suspenseful music) You break open the tablets and you would mix around the powder that is in these tablets with water.

And you would actually take that as a liquid form.

(classical suspenseful music) You are choosing the day that you want to die.

And that allows people to die with dignity and on their own terms, and where they want, and with whom they want to have around them.

You are not deciding to kill yourself.

- No.

- You are getting ahead of something that is killing you.

And I know that you said that dying with dignity is important to you.

- Exactly.

- How do you make that decision about when is right then?

- For me to be bed bound and not be able to go to the bathroom by myself, to have to be fed all the time.

To have to go through that.

And the other thing it's gonna affect my mental state, because it's in my brain.

I don't wanna be where this whole great life is forgotten about because I can't remember.

- Right.

- And I don't recognize people.

Do you wanna feel my head?

Here.

You see that?

- Oh wow.

- You see how it kind of indents - Yeah.

- Isn't that weird?

(bright accordion music) - [Bradley] This is my friend Lemon.

He's known Jack for as long as I have.

So when Jack started talking about end of life, end of life options, I reached out to compare notes about what the hell was going on with Jack.

Lemon's a syndicated cartoonist, so I asked him to sketch out Jack's 20 year relationship with his brain tumor.

- Jack is creating his ultimate performance piece, which is leading up to his ultimate demise.

(bright accordion music) - [Bradley] I confessed to Lemon that I was worried Jack wasn't thinking clearly enough to make such a big decision.

- I believe he is constructing some sort of delusion around the myth of Jack Tuller that will allow him to do this, that somebody with a fully functioning brain might consider to be slightly unusual and/or unacceptable.

(upbeat brooding music) - [Bradley] I had been watching some of the videotapes I found in Jack's basement storage.

And there was a lot of artsy stuff that you might expect in San Francisco in the 1980s.

But then, I would stumble upon hours of Jack just shooting the empty playground of his old elementary school as if he was trying to work out a puzzle, some kind of a problem that could only be resolved by revisiting his past.

There are a few photos that I'm seeing here of Jack's mom, but I don't see a single one with Jack and his mom together.

Jack's mom had to keep up appearances because she was a beauty queen, an actual beauty queen, Miss San Bruno.

She raised Jack mostly as a single mom and, for a short while, with a distant stepdad.

But Jack's real dad was nowhere to be found.

(whimsical jazz music) - This is not my real nose, did you know that?

I had a nose job.

My mother made me have a nose job.

How old was I?

I was probably like a sophomore or a junior or something in high school.

My parents, you know, they were both good looking, you know, they really were.

And they were embarrassed by my nose.

They pressured me to get a nose job.

And I bet if I would've said no, they would've been so upset because I was trying to save their status (chuckles) with my nose or something.

(birds tweeting) Oh my God, that's the house.

That's the house I grew up in.

Oh my God, look at that.

Unbelievable.

The deal with my mom is that she just wasn't here.

She didn't really participate.

She just wasn't a mother.

She was kind of vacant.

She would never hug me or kiss me that I remember.

I never had any friends come over.

She never threw me a birthday party.

I haven't talked to my mother in probably 25 years.

And the reason for that is that she was not inviting my current girlfriend, who I lived with, to come to Christmas Eve.

That was kind of it.

I wanted to invite her.

So I meet with my mom and I say, "Oh, this is her.

She's a very nice woman."

Showed her pictures of her and all that.

And my mother refused to invite her because she was Black.

And I couldn't really believe that.

I never knew my biological father.

My mother said that he took a car and went over Devils Slide in Half Moon Bay and killed himself.

(actress screaming) (ominous music) But I always questioned that 'cause it was just too outlandish of a story.

- [Reporter] Every hour of every day someone disappears, drops from sight, vanishes.

Where do they go?

What happens to them?

- So every couple years I would say to him, "We should look for your father.

We should look for your father."

And he was always a little reticent because he wasn't sure he who he was gonna find.

'cause he just heard so many negative things about him.

- I hired a private investigator, like maybe eight years ago, and she couldn't find anything on him, which was surprising.

I tried looking it up on my own.

And I did find this gentleman named Jack L. Ferrell, which is exactly my father and the exact age up in Antioch.

And I'm like, "Wow, how about that?"

(gentle whimsical jazz music) Antioch from San Francisco was probably a good hour away.

Let's just see what this place looks like.

Let's just check it out.

You go to this gate and we're like, "Oh, it's a gate.

We can't get in."

(gentle whimsical jazz music) And then all of a sudden, this gate opens up.

It's like, how did that happen?

The street's kinda nice, everybody's got beautiful yards and it's kind of nice, you know?

And I said, "Well, just pull up a little bit.

I'll take a picture of the house before we go.

Then all of a sudden a woman comes out of the same building.

She goes, "Oh, hi, can I help you with anything?"

And I said, "Hi," you know, "My name's Jack Tuller.

I'm actually looking for someone named Jack Ferrell."

And she goes, "Oh, that's my husband."

Then all of a sudden he comes out of the home.

- Oh my God- - Here's my boy.

- Oh my God.

I'm- - Finally came home.

(Jack Sr. laughing) - Yeah, yeah.

The last time you saw me was what, three months old?

- I'm so full of excitement and for both of 'em 'cause I think they're both needy, you know, needing this for so many years.

- So they won't do any more surgery.

So I don't know how much longer I'm gonna last.

I could last a week, a year, two years, three years- - [Bradley] Not a week, Jack.

Not a week.

- Okay, tomorrow.

I know.

- No, no, not tomorrow.

- Okay, we don't know.

Let's just say we don't know.

- [Jack Sr.] Well, what's the doctor say?

- [Sharon] What can they do?

- Well, you know, they want me to do chemo and they want me to do all that chemo for like, you know, 10 months.

And I refuse to do it.

- [Sharon] Oh, you do?

- I tried it once and it made me want to die.

So what happened on the divorce?

- Your mom called me at the house and said, "Could you come over?"

- [Jack] Yeah.

- She says, "The folks wanna talk to you."

And she says, "I want a divorce."

I'm going, "What?"

In front of my dad- - [Jack] Did you have any?

- No.

- [Jack] No idea that this is coming at all?

- No idea.

To this day, no.

- [Sharon] They didn't argue or anything.

They said nothing.

- Really.

Nothing.

There was no argument ahead of time.

Everything was kosher.

I, you know, nothing was wrong.

- [Bradley] After one year of marriage, Jack's parents were divorced and his 19-year-old mom was left at home with little baby Jack who was just three months old.

- Many times I've said, you know, I would like to meet my son before the day I die.

And here a while back, I kinda gave up.

I said, you know, I guess I just gotta give it up.

And now, this has happened.

- He's not used to having a real parent.

He's not used to having a parent who loves him.

He has my parents who love him deeply, but he's not used to having a biological parent.

- You know, we're in laws now.

- Yes.

- Yeah.

(laughs) - Thats my son, okay?

(crowd hoots and cheers) - [Crowd Member] Yeah.

- I don't think anybody is more proud and happier than I am tonight.

God, I love him.

(crowd clapping) - When you're getting closer to death, you wanna have everything sorted out.

Like, you wanna be sure all your bills are paid, you know, if you have life insurance, if you've got this going on.

So all of the things are taken care of.

I know, like the way my mother is, the idea of fixing any of these things is absolutely impossible.

And I know that, but I don't wanna leave my life hating her.

I don't hate her.

I don't, I've accepted the way it is, but I wanna make one final attempt.

(cellphone ringing) It's ringing.

(cellphone ringing) - [Operator] Telephone number three, five, zero.

- Okay, I'm gonna recall that number and leave a message, right?

Do you think I should do that?

- [Bradley] I don't know.

- I don't know.

Should I just wait for her to answer?

You know, I'm a little nervous about putting the message out that I'm trying to call her, you know?

(Jack breathes heavily) Okay, I think I know what to do.

Like, my gut says we just gotta go there.

I do think I should bring like a dessert or something.

Like, a good pie.

(gentle electronic music) I got her an apple pie.

Your standard old apple pie.

(turns to guitar music) Pecan pie, you either love it or you hate it.

I don't like cherry pie 'cause it's all gooey.

If you get like a poor quality, it's got all this, I don't know, like they squeeze all this stuff in it.

There's not enough cherries in it.

I don't like taking a risk on cherry pie.

She is my mother.

She's the one that gave birth to me.

I at least wanna say, "Hi."

Is she gonna just slam the door in my face?

Is she gonna invite me over for Christmas this year?

I have not a clue of what she's gonna do.

(gentle electronic music) "I know it's been many years since we've last spoken, and I sincerely hope you've been well."

Okay.

"Love, your son, Jack."

- [Bradley] Okay, anytime you're ready.

- Say, "Good luck, Jack."

- [Jennifer] Good luck, Jack.

I hope for the best.

- Say, "Good luck, Jack."

- [Jennifer] It's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be great.

Don't you worry.

- [Jack] Okay.

(car door thuds) (gentle electronic music) (rain pattering) (front door thuds) - Wow.

Okay, we got more pie tonight.

She would not accept the pie and slammed the door in my face.

I can't believe that.

I cannot believe that.

She answered the door 'cause she didn't recognize me.

That's why she did it.

Then I keep telling her, "I had a brain tumor" and I go, "here, you see, can you look at here and see the side of my head?"

She goes, "Oh, you're lying."

I thought, are you kidding me?

Look at the side of my face.

It's unbelievable.

Wow.

- I think she's angry and she's hurt.

I do think there's hurt.

- Yeah, it's been 25 years, but she hasn't made zero.

All you gotta do is put my name on the internet and there's a way to contact me.

It's okay.

I'm moving on, you know?

(exhales sharply) I'm not crying because I learned how to deal with this long ago and it's still there.

It's almost like love doesn't exist for her.

I just dont know how you could have a child and not, you know, wanna have a relationship with him.

(brooding jazz music) I don't have that many pictures, but here's one when I was a kid.

- [Sharon] Oh, how cute.

- [Jack Sr.] Where did you get that red hair from?

I don't get it.

- [Jack] I, you know, I don't know.

- [Jack Sr.] That's your mom.

- [Jack] That's her.

She's got a bit of attitude, huh?

- Oh yeah, she had an attitude.

- She did.

- The old homestead.

- [Jack Sr.] First house I ever bought.

She got it all.

She got it all.

So this is where I was conceived, was here?

- [Jack Sr.] Yes.

- Really?

Wow.

- That's it.

(laughs) I mean, standing in front of this house right now, it brings back some things, you know?

- [Jack] How did you meet my mom?

(Jack Sr. chuckles) I don't know how you met her.

I can't believe I don't know.

How did you meet her?

- We went on a double date.

- Right.

- [Jack Sr.] She was dating this guy, Al Turner.

- Al Turner?

- Yeah.

- Who's Al Turner?

- A guy that she met in high school.

- Was that the redhead guy?

- Yeah, redhead guy.

And I went in the hospital for appendix.

- Right.

- Busted appendix.

And then she came to the hospital and see me and she said, "Well when you get outta here, how about you and I going on a date?"

So that's what happened.

- So I have a crazy thing.

I feel like I wanna do a DNA on both of us.

- [Jack Sr.] A DNA?

- Both of us 'cause you and I were in the same thing.

I believe it.

- Yeah, I believe- - Well, I don't care.

I mean- - I believe that you are my father.

- Yeah.

Well, I think I am.

- No doubt about it.

But with her- - Oh, I see what you're saying- - [Jack] I just want to know 'cause I don't trust her, you know?

- You know, I can't blame you.

Jack, he had red hair.

I don't have red hair.

She doesn't have red hair.

I think she did think Jack was Al Turner's son.

She was caught in a lie, she thought, because everybody saw the red hair.

- In the bag, I've got the DNA test.

We've had to deal with so much crazy madness for the last 55 years.

Its time we know the real answer.

Unfortunately, Jack Daddy has had pneumonia for the past three weeks.

So Dad, don't take this personally, okay?

Just for an extra precaution.

I'm gonna wear the mask.

I don't think it goes over my eyes, right?

And I'm not going in the house and it's gonna be quick.

- Here's the thing.

I was married to your mother regardless.

- [Jack] Right.

- I loved her, you understand?

- Right, exactly, it's beautiful.

- So my love continues on like with you - Right.

- From Sharon.

- Exactly.

- Because at the time, I loved h - [Jack] Right.

- And I don't hate her now even.

- [Jack] Right.

Right.

- At the same time.

- Right.

- It's still something that you and I have in common.

Now that we have found each other, we can do things.

I want us to have a barbecue here and things like that.

- [Jack] That'd be great.

- Huh?

- That'd be great.

- Yeah.

- I look forward to it.

(playful jazz music) (playful jazz music) - [Bradley] Jack and his father waited two weeks for the test results.

Those were a couple of nerve wracking days for Jack and his dad.

That is, if he really was Jack's dad, we would soon find out.

- I'm sure those DNA tests are gonna prove that it is his father.

- [Bradley] Why?

How can you be so sure?

- Well, just looking at the way they both stand.

They don't even know each other, and they stand with their little hands in their front pocket the exact same way, and they don't even realize it.

- To the right is reverse.

- I put it in right- - You're gonna back up.

- To pull out.

- You're gonna back up.

- Okay.

You ready?

- I don't know.

- [Jack Sr.] Okay, now stop.

Not too fast.

- Okay, was that too fast?

- Or they will flip.

They will flip.

- Oh, I don't want it to flip.

- Yeah.

- Crazy thing happened.

I bet I just got the car, right?

and I hit somebody, and I just took off because I was, because I was so, it was so crazy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- [Jack Sr.] Here ya.

- You okay?

- [Bradley] What happened, Jack?

- I hit the wrong pedal.

- You better let me drive.

(laughs) - I hit the wrong... God.

- [Bradley] Jack's capabilities continued to decline.

- [Examiner] This study is concerned with memory for number sequences.

- [Bradley] So his doctors put him through a battery of cognitive tests.

- [Examiner] Four, one, two, seven- - [Bradley] He scored as low as second grade level on some of them.

His ability to organize things and read was second grade level.

- [Examiner] Please stop.

(screen muffling) - Today's the day.

- Yeah!

- Oh my god.

- You got it upside down.

- No, I don't.

See?

DNA results.

- Okay.

Okay.

- There you go.

Oh my god.

Here, here.

- [Jack Sr.] You you go get in the middle.

- [Jack] Okay, okay.

(envelope rasping) - [Sharon] Oh, I've never opened anything this important before.

- Oh my God.

Okay.

- Probability of paternity is 99.99.

(family cheering) - You're my dad.

- I'm your dad, yeah, yeah.

- [Jack] 99.999998%.

(upbeat jazz music) - Cheers.

- [Family] Cheers.

- Oh my gosh.

- That's a happy day.

- We did it, a happy day.

- All right.

- You guys got family.

(banging sounds) - [Bradley] Then the official diagnosis came in.

Major Neurocognitive Disorder.

That's when I told Jack that we should take a break from filming.

I put the camera away and didn't shoot anything for nearly a year, and I wasn't interested in resuming.

(piano music) Then, one day, Jennifer asked me to come to the city right away.

She said Jack had taken a turn for the worse.

- So he started having double vision.

- [Bradley] Right.

- Where he said he saw the clock and then he saw the clock just above it.

Sounds, he's having strange- - Oh, the sounds, yeah, yeah.

- Audio issues.

- Right, right.

- And because he was a musician, he describes them perfectly.

- A trumpet.

- Yes.

- Trumpet.

- On his birthday date.

- Yeah.

- July 15th, he started hearing beeps.

- Beep beep.

- And it's almost every day that your eye closes.

- Oh, that.

Ah, that's right.

- Involuntary eyelid closure.

- Yeah, so what would happen, it's happened, you know, many times.

All of a sudden this eye just goes blank.

Like, and I can't open it.

I can't open.

And Jennifer comes there to try to open it and you can't open.

- I tried.

- It's like stuck.

She's like, - The first time happened.

- She's like, okay, I'll get it.

I'll get it.

I'll get it.

And she couldn't get it.

- So we've asked for hospice and to begin the process to do any paperwork that you asked for regarding end of life.

- Yeah, exactly.

- But we may not need- - Yeah, we may not it.

- To use it.

- But it's just kinda good to have.

This kind of a just in case, you know?

- [Bradley] Frame yourself up so you're lower.

Like, you're like, there you go.

- That's better?

- Yeah.

- Is that sexier for me?

(Bradley laughing) You know, Jennifer and I were talking this morning.

We kinda thinking it would be good to kind of have me die here, really, you know?

And she'll get a new bed after, which we need.

(Bradley and Jack laughing) - So you guys have identified a date?

- Yes.

Yes.

We have.

- [Bradley] The 31st.

- Yes.

Yeah.

- [Bradley] Don't you have to see if people are busy?

- They're not busy.

Are you busy?

- [Bradley] No.

- See.

- [Bradley] You like this?

I like it, man.

I like it.

- Why do you like?

You like this being- - I like it because I'm going in a blaze of glory.

You see what that is?

- How is it that taking a cocktail that's gonna kill you, hanging out with your friends, how is that a blaze of glory?

- Because I'm making the move to do it.

That's a blaze of glory, you know?

That's a blaze of glory for me.

- It's now what time?

- [Lemon] It's 1:45.

- [Bradley] 1:45, so two weeks from today, you'll be two hours and 15 minutes away.

- Yeah, 4:00 PM is my knockdown time.

- [Bradley] And we just had a great lunch.

- We did.

- We're sipping beers.

- Right.

- It's a chill Friday.

- Totally.

- You're laughing.

- [Bradley] You're laughing.

You don't look like you're in pain.

- No, my eyes opened up.

- [Lemon] Beautiful day.

- [Bradley] Are you still gonna do it?

- Yes.

Yes.

- [Lemon] Why wouldn't you wanna have another great day?

- I read this stuff about what happens to people with brain tumors, and the big thing is they can't get outta the bed.

The other thing is they go blind.

When we start going blind, it's happening in my eyes, it'll keep increasing.

When I decide to go, you know, I'm gonna have a big party here on the, you know, 4:00 PM, two weeks from now, and it's gonna be set up oddly as a party.

- In two weeks time, I feel like you're gonna feel like exactly like you are now, and that people are gonna see you.

And it's gonna feel like a lot of people may respect your decision, but may not agree with it.

And I know I will not be in a party mood.

I will be really sad.

And it's preventable.

It's- - [Jack] Well, you think it's preventable, it's not preventable.

- I mean, it it- - It's not.

- It technically is preventable.

- I mean, can you imagine being blind for four hours a day?

- [Lemon] I can imagine being blind all the time and still living a fulfilling life.

- But that's you.

But that's you.

Not everybody's like that.

- I just, I'm never gonna agree with it.

- [Jack] That's okay.

That's okay.

- [Bradley] What is your fundamental objection?

- I believe Jack is rushing.

- As much as he lays it out, I think it seems to me that in two weeks time and two hours and five minutes - [Jack] Yeah.

- If Jack is anywhere close to how he is right now, it would be a loss to the world for Jack to remove himself from the ranks of the living when he brings so much happiness and joy to so many people.

And I think Jack should wait for the right moment rather than plan an arbitrary date when it's convenient.

- You see the wrong date.

I can't pick out what the wrong date is.

It's impossible.

(Jack mumbles) - All right, Jack.

- Thanks for everything, Lemon.

- See you soon.

- Stay safe.

- Okay, well, see ya.

- Thanks.

- Bye, Lemon.

- [Jennifer] Bye, Lemon.

- Bye- - [Jennifer] Thank you.

- [Jack] Bye, bye.

See you soon.

(clock ticking) - [Victor] Jack, Jack Tuller, I love you brother.

- Okay, man.

- I love you.

- I'm gonna miss you.

- I'm gonna miss you.

- Big Love.

You make me wanna cry.

- [Victor] Dude, that's why!

You're fine.

Don't, this is not- - Okay, I'm gonna blow you a kiss.

Alright.

Ready?

(lips smooch) (Victor laughing) There you go, I'm gonna miss you.

(Victor mumbling) - [Victor] Jack.

- I'm telling every damn person I love that I love them.

I mean, because I do.

And I'm not faking this, man.

I really, really mean it.

I mean, not only that, you know, my wife has a ton of family coming up to see me.

Accept people's notion that we're all gonna die.

And that's a hard one.

That's a hard one.

- [Ralph] Look at me, Jack.

- Okay.

- All of a sudden, youre gone and you left us behind.

Empty.

Empty heart, emptiness.

You go like that suddenly, people is not gonna be happy about it.

- I don't know if I can handle.

- You can always handle it.

(cries) - No, I can't, Jack.

- You'll always handle.

- I've been so sad.

(Adalia crying) - Since I know that this is your plan to do...

I never know, and I dont know if I ever understand, Jack.

(Adalia crying) - [Adalia] We think about Jennif Youre gonna leave her.

- Oh my God, no, Jack.

Thinking of you- - [Bradley] This is freaking people out, do you expect that?

- Yeah, absolutely.

Nobody sees many people is gonna basically commit their own suicide with a big audience, it's kinda what it is.

You know, people know what I have, but it's still, I don't think many people have seen that.

I've never seen it.

Have you ever seen that?

- [Bradley] Do you consider it suicide?

- No 'cause I have the approval from Kaiser, and the state of California to do it.

It's an allowed suicide.

I did the legal allowed one, I guess.

- [Bradley] Right.

- Which really for some people is like, they just can't fathom that, they can't believe it, you know, that somebody like me would just do it.

- [Bradley] You've tried to get him to slow down and not do this thing.

- Yeah, I mean the one thing I've said to him is if you were doing this with a gun, you said, "I, on this day, I'm going to lift a gun to my head, and I'm gonna pull the trigger."

I would jump in and stop him.

And I think anyone that loved him would do that.

But the fact that there's this one step removed thing, and that it's something that he really, really wants, and it seems very nonviolent.

It's almost like it's this calm way of going, that makes it different.

And I don't think it is different.

The end result is the same with less cleaning up afterwards.

(chuckles) - [Bradley] Do you ever question whether or not you should go through with this?

- I don't question it at all, at all.

- [Bradley] People are gonna think you're crazy.

- But they may think I'm brilliant, I hope.

- [Bradley] Why would they think that?

- Because I'm taking a stance in my life and doing it in a way that's responsible.

I'm doing with dignity.

I'm not just doing it 'cause I'm scared of dying.

Quite the opposite.

- You seem happy.

- I am happy.

- So the thing is, is that there's really no better day than the other.

I mean- - What do you mean?

- For other people, this is all about when it's the right time for you.

I think that the fear that people have the, "Ah, stay!"

- You can stay.

Stay another day.

- Thats so projecting.

- But they're doing it outta love.

They're not doing it just becaus They're trying to save me in some way.

But the people trying to save me, I'm so appreciative.

- This is what you've left.

You've left a mark on people.

- I love you, you know that?

- I love you too.

- [Jack] See?

- I love you too.

- [Jack] That's the way we do it.

Thats funny.

(camera clicks) (clock ticking) - Now, this is a mixture of four medications to help slow down the system.

To help slow down the breathing, the heart rate.

For the majority of the cases, it just takes like maybe three hours, four hours.

- How do we know that I passed?

- So typically when you you stop breathing, Jen will know.

- And then hospice?

- [Lauren] And hospice will come and ensure that you have passed.

- You want a handful of friends and family to be here for you to speak to first.

- Right, exactly.

- Then everyone will leave.

- Right.

- Except the two of us.

- Okay.

- I wanna be alone with you.

I want that time.

(Jennifer sobs) - Okay.

- [Lauren] Its hard.

- [Bradley] Thanks, guys.

- [Jack] Bye.

- [Jennifer] All right, thank you so much.

(gentle suspenseful music) (indistinct) Okay, keep talking.

(clock ticking) - [Bradley] How are you feeling?

- Am I doing the right thing?

Yes.

After about two hours sleep and I go, okay, I got it now.

Okay, this is the right thing to do.

I always knew it.

But you have to kinda fully, fully accept it.

Like, I actually feel oddly prepared for this thing 'cause I've had an incredibly happy life.

I'm not saying, "Oh, I hate my life.

Why did it turn out like this?

Terrible, terrible, terrible."

I'm taking like exactly, exactly the opposite.

Is it choice?

Sure.

But part of it is just deciding to love your life.

I spend one more night here and that's it.

One more night.

That's it.

But this is my last chance to ask you, what do you think of it?

Are you excited about the footage you have?

Are you excited about putting this together?

- I don't know.

I mean, it means a lot to me, but I have a heavy heart about it.

The video is not the reason why you're doing these things, right?

- No, it's for life, death.

- [Bradley] All right.

Peace and love, bye.

- See ya.

Bye.

- [Bradley] Lemme just tell you that his friends, we have a lot of conflicting feelings, obviously.

- Oh, I'm sure.

- And we try to convince him to wait.

- Oh yeah, I would love that.

He said Jennifer wanted him to wait and she said, "I don't want you to go, I want you to wait."

And he said, "I can't."

- I think he's very brave.

I really do.

When you wanna take your own life, that takes some guts.

He knows what's gonna happen.

So he's gonna stop it from happening.

(gentle piano music) We were walking around and saw this ice cream and I said, "I'm gonna go buy you an ice cream.

I never got to do that when you were a little kid, so I'm gonna get you one now."

And he cracked up and said, "Okay, dad, get me an ice cream.

(sobs) - [Sharon] It's okay.

- The father's supposed to go first, you know?

(upbeat jazz music) (crowd laughing and chatting) - [Bradley] You gotta be scared, right?

- Yeah, Im scared.

Who wouldnt be?

I mean, I know that, you know...

I know what I have and I know the drugs help me, but this thing is gonna kill me anyway, you know?

There's no getting outta this thing alive.

- [Bradley] I mean, there's no way to just take a couple extra days, right?

Like there's- - I can't do it, man.

- [Bradley] Okay.

- I just can't come back here all the time to do it.

I mean, 'cause it's gonna happen anyway.

I've told you before, man, my brain consciousness is going down like dramatically.

I mean, I could walk around and be funny or whatever, but my memory, my all that is going down and once that goes down, I'm screwed.

- [Bradley] Okay, I'm gonna let you have a moment by yourself?

- Yeah, just to wait for a minute.

(Jack breathes deeply) - It's just hard, man.

My friends out there and I just can't believe I'm gonna be gone.

I mean, within like a half hour, completely, completely gone.

- And I tell 'em like, I'm your wife.

I just need to know that when the time comes, like, I have done what I needed to do to make sure that I've offered you everything I can offer you.

- She has.

- Everything our family has offered you, everything our friends have offered you.

I just need to know that I've given you everything.

- Everything.

- I possibly could, - Everything.

- so that you could say yes or no according to what you truly felt.

- Absolutely.

- Being here now, I realize the decision is a gift because I can see the love and friendship and care and compassion that everyone has shared with Jack and I.

So I just wanna thank all of you for everything.

If it's gonna happen, then at least it can happen with love and we can do this together.

(indistinct) - I love you so much.

- Love you too.

Mom, I'll be here, okay?

- [Jack] I love you too, okay?

- [Lemon] See you on the other s - See you on the other side.

- I love you pal.

- I love you too, buddy.

- Come here, buddy.

(hand slapping) - I would like to give you my total support for whatever you decide.

And so, I'm gonna do this.

And anybody else that wants to give your support and put your hand right here.

- [Jack] So I put my hand here.

- This is for you, Jack.

- I love all of you.

- On two.

One, two.

- [Bradley] Then, it was my turn.

On the eighth floor of that building, in the apartment where Jack graciously shared his life story, I said goodbye leaving Jack and Jen to have their final private moments together.

(footsteps rustling) - We had our last dance, Cheek to Cheek, something we danced to when we got married.

♪ Dancing cheek to cheek (crowd hoots and claps) ♪ Yes, heaven... - So we wanted to have that last dance.

We knew what we were going to do, step by step.

So I brought him the medication over to the bedside.

He was surprised it didn't taste as bad as he expected it to.

(chuckles) I was holding him the whole time.

I had my arm around his shoulders.

I had my other hand on his chest.

And we had this view across the city and lights started going on in all the buildings outside.

I said, you're free, you can go.

And literally, within seconds of me saying that, he took his last breath.

He was gone.

His plan was to be with the people he loved up until the very last moment.

And he did that.

(sobbing) (gurney wheels rattling) (blues music) ♪ Just remember me baby ♪ When I'm in six feet of cold, cold ground ♪ (blues music) ♪ Just remember me baby ♪ When I'm in six feet of cold, cold ground ♪ ♪ Always think of me, mama ♪ Just say thats a good man gone down ♪ ♪ Don't cry, baby ♪ Baby after I'm gone (blues music) ♪ Don't cry, baby ♪ Don't cry after I'm gone ♪ I guess a good man love you ♪ And I ain't done nothing wrong ♪ ♪ Well I don't have to be the loser♪ ♪ When the deal goes down (playful jazz music) - [Announcer] The feature length version of "Jack Has a Plan" is available on Amazon Prime video.

(playful jazz music)