NOELE: We get 15 million viewers a night.

Action!

Crossroads Motel.

Miss Noele Gordon!

(applauding and cheering) DENTON: All good things must come to an end.

MICHAEL (over phone): You're out.

NOELE: I practically invented daytime TV.

Those men brought me down.

Do you think I'd let them stop me?

(screams) I've got plans.

LARRY: You're gonna be a bigger star than ever.

Watch me.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ John, if you're ready?

BAIRD: Right.

Yes, uh, over there, if you could.

Thank you.

Oh, best be careful.

If the lights are too bright, I could set fire to you.

It's happened before.

Although I've moved on a wee bit since then.

I built my very first television out of a hatbox and darning needles.

Good.

So, off we go, Alexander.

(devices buzzing) Very nice.

Very nice, indeed.

(chuckling): I think I'm rather delighted.

Take a look.

Do you want to see it?

Congratulations.

You're the first woman in the world to appear on color TV.

I'm sorry, I'm forgetting my manners, I should've said, I'm John Logie Baird.

Who are you?

Noele-- my name's Noele Gordon.

People call me Nolly.

♪ ♪ JACK: Nolly!

Nolly!

(crowd clamoring) Would you please, could you please just get back?

Thank you.

Nolly!

♪ ♪ Nolly?

(groans) Nolly, bit of a problem.

Tell me-- I'll fix it.

What's wrong?

It's the people outside.

There are thousands of them.

I mean, literally thousands.

There's up to 10,000 people standing outside.

And the problem is?

They're in shot.

That's a problem because...?

They've come to see Nolly.

But it's Meg who's getting married, not you.

It's your character.

I still can't see the problem.

Meg owns a motel in Birmingham.

It has 16 chalets.

Sixteen.

I have to put this show on air and I can't, for the, the love of God, work out why I would be showing 10,000 people at her wedding.

Well, then, the problem is you.

If 10,000 people have turned up to show their love, then I think that's a wonderful thing.

If they sit at home every day and have their tea and watch "Crossroads," and they see Meg dealing with her family and her guests and the staff, in all 16 chalets, and they think so much of her that they want to leave their homes, in the cold and the wind and the rain, to stand there, to give a little cheer-- that's all, a faint little cheer on a miserable day...

I mean, God knows, they can barely afford the heating or the gas or the rent, and yet they still come, to stand out there, together.

Then what sort of person would cut them out of the picture?

Tell me.

What sort of person is that?

Not me.

Problem solved.

Run to record.

(Nolly snaps fingers) JOHN: Sorry-- sorry, sorry.

ANTHONY: Miss Gordon.

Thank you, Anthony.

♪ ♪ (crowd cheering and applauding) ♪ ♪ (cheering and whistling) ♪ ♪ (engine stops) I'll see you inside, Miss Gordon.

Thank you, Adams.

Hello, Joe.

Morning, Belinda.

If you could just sign this, Nolly.

Absolutely.

Just your name...

I feel sorry for Meg.

JOE: ...along the edge.

Why did they have to kill off your husband?

Well, he was kidnapped in Australia and had a heart attack climbing out of the window.

What can I say?

JOE (laughs): Just there.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (button buzzes) (elevator bell dings) (button clicks) (footsteps approaching) (button clicking) (button clicks) (doors close) (elevator creaks) (exhales) (elevator bell dings) (humming) Ah, I think Pamela's going to be late.

I drove past her at the bus stop.

Morning, Nolly.

Morning, Rodney.

Now, I wanted a word with you about Wednesday.

You are forcing us all into an impossible situation.

You must be Poppy.

We spoke on the phone?

I'm Liz-- welcome aboard.

That's the schedule and the call sheet.

So, these are the sets, but you'll get used to it.

It'll make sense in no time.

And over here is the greenroom, and I call you out scene by scene.

I call everyone by their character name, 'cause it's easier.

Uh, we rehearse in order: green for Monday, yellow for Tuesday, pink for Wednesday.

Here's a little kitchen.

Uh, best to bring your own mug, 'cause that can lead to arguments.

And, uh, yeah, here's everyone.

We should start bang on 9:00.

SANDRA: Liz.

Did we ever get an answer back about the hearse?

Yes, we did-- we can't.

Um, hold on-- uh, five minutes?

Thanks, love.

♪ ♪ (people talking softly in background) ♪ ♪ ALL (gasping): No, no, no, no!

Sorry, am I not allowed?

That's Noele Gordon's chair.

PAUL: She'd kill you, the Godmother.

She'd have your guts for garters.

Well, she gets a bit particular, and that's been hers for 18 years.

You can have this one, darling.

There.

(chuckles) (talking softly in background) PAUL: It happened again, Nolly.

Did they say you can't sit in my chair?

I'm sorry.

I didn't know.

No reason why you should-- I don't mind.

We all have equal status.

The star of the show is the motel.

(clears throat) Who are you?

I'm Poppy.

I'm playing Honour.

Honour?

Who's Honour?

POPPY: I'm your family?

Meg's family.

How does that work?

JANE: Oh, it says here, Mother.

It's pink scene at 12.

Kitty sponsored her adoption back in 1964.

Oh, what the hell does "sponsored her adoption" mean?

Haven't you read the script?

No, never.

Not until the first rehearsal.

Bet you've learnt the whole thing off by heart, haven't you?

Yeah.

Don't.

Darling, have you got a pen?

(sighs) I wanted to say, Miss Gordon, I don't mean to interrupt, but...

I'm just ever so sorry about Sandy.

Well, that's really immensely kind.

JANE: Roger.

His name was Roger.

NOLLY: Yes, but you're right.

Everyone knew him as Sandy.

He was absolutely lovely.

RONNIE: He was...

Remarkable.

SUSAN: He was the funniest man you'll ever meet, I'll tell you that for nothing.

He had me in stitches.

It was only four months ago.

He was 35 years old, poor soul.

I know he wasn't your real son, but he must've been like family?

That's exactly what he was like.

Now, then, Poppy, everyone calls me Nolly.

And I think... We're on.

LIZ: We're on greens, episode 3499, scene one, sitting room.

That's Meg, Jill, Adam's on his way, Diane, and Honour.

NOLLY: Right.

You nervous?

Terrified.

It's my mum, she put the fear of God into me.

She said, "Remember, you're not just there for yourself.

You're representing the entire Black community."

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.

We've done abortion.

Apologies, Miss Gordon.

I was parking the Rolls.

Where are we?

Green, scene one, Meg's sitting room.

"Meg standing by the window."

Oh, don't be ridiculous, not with the lighting over there.

Does nobody watch this thing?

No, I'll stand here by the settee.

Jill and Honour... Oh.

Facing me, I think.

Adams, you go there.

TONY: Mm-hmm.

Uh, Rodney, does that work, yes?

Yes, fine-- Meg on three, swap with one.

Meg on three, swap with one.

It says "Adam sitting"?

Why would he sit?

He never sits.

TONY: I, I can stand.

RODNEY: Standing, on two.

SANDRA: Standing, on two.

Cue daughter.

I say, "Surprise," uh, dum-di-dum-di-dum, uh, "Honour," et cetera, "Adam and Meg."

And I say, "I've got the letter, but to be honest, Honour"... "To be honest, Honour"?

Has anyone ever said this out loud?

Where's the letter?

Letter for Meg.

Thank you.

So I say, "I've got the letter, but to be honest"-- I'll cut the word "Honour."

Cut the word "Honour."

Cut the word "Honour."

I wouldn't actually stand here with a letter, would I?

I mean, who would actually stand with a letter?

No, I think this letter should go on the bureau.

Yes?

Actually on it?

RODNEY: On the bureau.

SANDRA: On the bureau.

BEVERLEY: Letter on the bureau.

TONY: Then I say, "I think our lawyer should study the letter."

No, we say "solicitor."

Solicitor.

Solicitor.

Solicitor.

And I say, "Now, it, now, look, it says here"... Oh, sorry.

I do need the letter.

Letter for Meg.

"Everything in this letter is absolutely true," and enter slut.

SUSAN: ♪ Here I am ♪ NOLLY: Slut does her stuff.

SUSAN: "Oh, sorry, Mrs. M. Kitchen needs to confirm," et cetera, et cetera.

NOLLY: Yah-yah-de-da.

I say, "Wait five minutes."

Yeah, and exit slut.

Slut exits.

(door opens) NOLLY: Good morning, Pamela.

Sorry I'm late.

(door closes) ♪ ♪ And I say, uh, my line, and cue Poppy.

(in natural accent): It's very nice to meet you.

It's such a lovely motel.

♪ ♪ Is that what you're doing?

Is that how you're doing it?

Is that what you're going to do?

I mean, is it?

POPPY: Am I doing it wrong?

But this is the motel.

Birmingham accents belong over there.

The Brownlows, the garage, the barge.

Why we have scenes set on a barge I've never understood.

LIZ: Excuse me, Nolly.

But it does say she's a kleptomaniac with a very rough upbringing.

Pink, scene 12.

Well, what if she was?

What are we saying?

I was practically brought up single-handed.

My mother worked night and day, God bless her soul, and I haven't got a hint of Scottish Presbyterian, not a speck.

Not a vowel, not a single glottal stop.

Look at Adams.

Brought up on a fishing boat.

Mmm.

His mother had an affair with the deputy manager of a coal mine.

Mm-hmm.

In Spitsbergen.

She said I was conceived in a boathouse on a coil of rope.

And she was 16 stone.

Mmm.

NOLLY: And yet, he ended up cut-glass.

Can you do the RP?

Are you trained?

What do you think?

Can you do it?

I think I can, yeah.

NOLLY: Well, let's try that, then.

Do it now.

(in assumed accent): It's very nice to meet you.

It's such a lovely motel.

That's good.

It's fine-- I'm happy.

I'm happy.

I'm happy.

Happy, happy.

NOLLY: Good-- and you can tell Jack we changed her accent.

And if he wants to know why, you can tell him that I am making this show better, if I have to haul it out of the grave line by line.

Well done, Poppy.

Page two!

Monday and Tuesday, we rehearse.

Wednesday, we have the producer's run.

That's with Jack Barton.

(elevator doors close) And what have you got to say for yourself, young lady?

POPPY (in assumed accent): It's very nice to meet you.

It's such a lovely motel.

NOLLY: It was once the family home.

But when my husband... JACK: Sorry, but, Poppy, we did specify a Birmingham accent.

NOLLY: You might have.

I did not.

It's just that...

I think the rest of television speaks in RP, and Poppy gives us a chance to... And I said no.

To continue.

It was once the family home.

But when my husband died 18 years ago, I converted it to survive.

Then we hit the big time.

Thursday and Friday are studio!

Now, it's not live, but it's as live, so don't make any mistakes, because we cannot afford to stop.

Ready to record!

Places, please, everyone, as fast as we can, little bit of hush.

And whatever happens, hope and pray... WOMAN: Poppy.

...we don't get an under-run.

What's an under-run?

Well, it's when we run under.

KEITH: 60 seconds-- quiet, please!

NOLLY: Every single episode is 19-and-a-half minutes exactly.

But if we rattle through the dialogue too fast or somebody drops out... TONY: They said Gary's put his back out.

There you are-- if there's a gap, we have to fill.

POPPY: Well, what do we do?

NOLLY: Keith gives a signal, and upstairs, they make the telephone ring.

And we have to answer it.

On the spot?

Yep.

On camera?

Yeah.

And do what?

We improvise.

Well, how?

KEITH: 30 seconds!

NOELE (whispering): Don't worry.

I'll answer it.

Leave it to Nolly.

(chuckles) (whispering): Now, get ready.

Just think.

All those people watching.

We get 15 million viewers a night.

Three episodes a week.

Which means 45 million viewers, looking at you.

Well, no.

I'm sorry?

(chuckling): It's not 45 million.

It certainly is.

No, but 15 million every night... Ready, studio?

In ten... ...means it's the same 15 million.

It's only 15 million.

(laughing): It's not 45 million, is it?

It's 15.

Isn't it?

KEITH: Grams and action in three... (mouths) (theme song playing) This may be quite a surprise, but say hello, everyone.

This is Honour.

Honour, this is Adam.

He's our deputy manager.

And this is my mother, Meg Mortimer.

NOLLY: I have to apologize, young lady.

I've got the letter here.

But to be honest, this has come as something of a surprise.

I think our solicitor should study that letter just in case.

(knock at door) Ooh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Mortimer.

RODNEY (over headset): Keith.

I know you need... Just heard, Gary's gone to hospital.

We've lost him from scene five.

And I can't find the chef... (softly): How much does that lose?

40 seconds.

So that's an under-run.

It's an under-run.

SUSAN (whispers): Thank you very much.

NOLLY: Well, what have you got to say for yourself, young lady?

It's very nice to meet you.

(mouthing) It's such a lovely motel.

It was once a family home.

But when my husband died 18 years ago, I converted it to survive.

Mummy worked night and day.

She turned it into the motel you can see today.

(mouthing) And it's been hard work.

But we're so proud of it.

It's amazing to think I'm part of the family.

(mouthing) NOLLY: I think you'll be very welcome here.

It's a fresh start for all of us.

(phone ringing) (phone continues) Hello, Crossroads Motel.

Oh!

(gasps) It's for you.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ "I don't care what Henry says.

If David wants to move to Guernsey, he should come to me."

If David wants to move to Guernsey, he should come to me.

If... Hmm.

(softly): "If David want to move to Guernsey, he should come to me."

(in full voice): He should come to me.

He... should come to me.

(softly): I keep worrying about Stonebank Farm.

(TV theme playing in background) It's not my responsibility, but I can't ask...

I can't ask Benny to leave, not since all that... Not since all that trouble.

(whispers): Not since all that trouble.

(softly): Not since all that trouble.

TWYLER (on television): And now on ATV, it's 7:30.

It's "Coronation Street."

Oh, God, no.

And there's bad news for Fred and Eunice Gee.

(ceiling creaks) (dial whirring) (phone ringing) NOLLY (over phone): Darling, I want to go shopping.

Are you free?

Please say yes.

Nolly, it's late.

Everything's closed-- we don't live in New York, darling, as much as we'd like.

I mean window shopping.

Oh, come on, Tony.

Please?

(sighing): I'll fetch the Rolls, Miss Gordon.

Thank you, Adams.

(phone hangs up) NOLLY: Ooh, what d'you think?

TONY: Not my color.

NOLLY: Matches your eyes.

(Tony chortles) NOLLY: That's nice.

TONY: Hmm.

Hmm, bit young for me.

And you say...

Nonsense, Miss Gordon!

Thank you, Adams.

(gasps): Oh!

It's really nice to see you, Nolly.

I love you in "Coronation Street."

Yeah, "Crossroads."

"Crossroads," yes!

But why did they get rid of your husband?

He was a lousy (muted), darling.

(laughs) You're wonderful!

Lots of love.

Lots of love.

You were a bit tough today, do you think?

Poor little Poppy.

Yes.

And then I went upstairs to Jack, and told him she was excellent.

You sound almost maternal.

Oh, that ship has sailed.

It's funny to think, isn't it?

Little Poppy, she can have a career with a regional accent.

Do you think we sound old-fashioned these days?

Mmm.

(in deep, pompous voice): You have abominable diction.

(in similar voice): I have a bomb in my kitchen?

(laughs) Oh, yes, they've all got soap operas now.

Mmm.

"Take the High Road" in Scotland.

"Taff Acre" in Wales.

Welsh accents in lead roles!

My mother would switch off.

My mother would punch them.

Yes, she would.

My mother sailed up the Amazon in a canoe.

People never believe me when I tell them that, she really did.

She had five oarsmen, paddling away.

I still hear a creak, sometimes.

From upstairs.

Mmm.

I think, "Here she comes."

(chuckles) I'd hear those footsteps, and I'd think, "Right.

I have 30 seconds to put the kettle on."

(chuckling) 30 seconds exactly.

Tap, tap, here she is.

Here's Mum.

(chuckles) It's been two years now.

(gasps): Oh, that's gorgeous.

You'd look lovely in that.

There's a dinner tonight.

Variety Club.

At the Town Hall.

I see.

Thank God I'm not there.

He'd have been top table.

Hmm.

His favorite charity.

Mmm, with his wife.

Mmm.

I'd have a seat as far away as possible.

Like we barely knew each other.

How long's it been since he died?

Nine years.

I'm sorry.

You should've turned up tonight with me on your arm.

I gather the phrase for that nowadays is "toy boy."

Tony.

Tony the toy boy.

(gasps): At your service, ma'am.

Ah.

(kisses loudly) Oh, you know what I always say, Adams.

I wanted a man in my life, so I got the next best thing.

Which is you.

(chuckles) ♪ ♪ Come on.

Work in the morning.

TONY: Hm.

NOLLY: Oh, big day tomorrow.

Hm.

Michael's seeing Charles Denton.

Oh!

About my contract.

Once he's done, we can come back and buy everything!

(Tony chortles) (Nolly singing wordlessly) (car horns honk) ♪ ♪ (door opens) Ah, Michael.

Good to see you.

Charles!

Looking very well, I must say.

(door closes) I am hearing exciting things about Nottingham.

Oh, well, we're getting there, slowly.

Slower than I'd like, but...

I have one or two new clients based in the Midlands.

You might be interested in seeing them?

But, first, Miss Gordon.

Did you have a chance to read my proposal?

Yes.

I think this might not be the conversation you imagined.

I am not backing down on holidays.

No.

Um, how do I put this?

All good things must come to an end.

(car horns honking in distance) (telephones ringing) (Nolly humming) This is Noele Gordon speaking.

MICHAEL: Nolly, darling, it's Michael.

Oh, good.

Ooh, did I tell you, I saw Louise?

We had a proper old catch-up-- she's on really good form.

Anyway, how did it go?

Um, not very well.

I did consider driving up to see you, but, you know, things.

And?

It was remarkable.

Denton was, was clinical.

It wasn't like him at all.

It was like a man reading a weather report.

Just facts.

Well, tell me what he said.

He said...

He said there's no new contract.

That it's goodbye.

(laughs): For God's sake!

Tell him I am not backing down on holidays.

No, darling, there wasn't any negotiation.

He simply said it, and that was that.

Michael, I sometimes think you don't know how this industry works.

I mean, let's face it, last time you were an actor, you played one of the Daleks.

Which, God knows, was a stretch of your emotional range.

But now you are an agent.

And you are my agent.

And it is your job... Nolly, it wasn't like that.

NOLLY: ...to go back and tell him I work five days a week... MICHAEL: It wasn't the usual-- Nolly, I know.

...every single week, till 9:00 at night... MICHAEL: I didn't... ...which means all my charity work has to go into the weekends...

Honestly, listen to me.

Nolly, you've been sacked.

He said... (sighs): They have plans for the future of the show without you.

(laughing): Don't be ridiculous!

Nolly... What have you done?

I beg your pardon!

Well, have you done anything to annoy them or to vex them?

I don't know, it was the most extraordinary meeting I've ever had in my life.

I've been sacked?

Yes.

He sacked me?

MICHAEL: Yes.

(chuckling): Well, what did he say?

He said you're sacked.

(Nolly laughs) That is the sort of thing a man like that says!

Oh, Michael, you idiot.

It's a deal!

It's a game!

Meg is going to die.

He said they'll give you six months, and then they kill her.

They're gonna write the story of the death of Meg Mortimer, and that's the end.

God knows why, I have no idea why, but you're out.

♪ ♪ I'm just... ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (button buzzes) (door buzzes) (breathlessly): Now, look...

I know what we're like.

Us theatricals, we do tend to exaggerate.

Let's be serious.

When he says "sacked," doesn't he mean have a month off?

Which you've been asking for since time immemorial.

So maybe they listened.

I was told Jack Barton will phone me at 8:00 exactly.

Well, that's now.

So, listen on the other phone.

Oh!

I think you'll find it's all a storm in a teacup.

My mother won the King's Cup for flying solo around England, and she always said... (telephones ring) Oh, my God!

Wait, wait.

Wait.

(ringing continues) (breathing rhythmically) This is Noele Gordon speaking.

JACK: Nolly, quite a day.

Isn't it?

Yes, uh... How are you?

Fine, thank you.

And you?

Well, I am distraught.

Well, yes, understandably.

Then it's true?

Yes.

I've been sacked.

Yes.

And Meg is going to die?

Yes.

Um...

Uh, and whose decision was this?

Charles Denton.

Uh, did he... (whispering): Tell him to tell you why.

NOLLY: Did he tell you why?

He said it was a professional decision and it's time for the show to move on.

Yes, but why me?

I was told.

An order from above.

I don't ask why, I just do my job.

Um, and, um... Well, is this just me, or is anybody else getting the chop?

No, it's just you.

Oh, really?

Because I think there's quite a bit of dead wood in that cast.

I, I don't think Tony's been committed for ages.

I wouldn't say that.

We've got very big plans for him.

Oh, well, that's all very nice, I'm sure, but that leaves me, um... Jack, I won't beg.

Don't expect you to.

I will not beg.

Absolutely.

I am not gonna beg for my job.

In fact, Denton said six months, which would see me offscreen February, but I fully expect to find work immediately.

And I don't think I can wait that long.

What do you suggest?

Christmas?

NOLLY: Oh, yes, I thought you could kill me off at Christmas like the Little (muted) Match Girl!

Oh, for Christ's sake, don't be so bloody maudlin!

November.

Done!

Good.

Thank you-- well, better not keep you any longer.

I know you've got rehearsals at 9:00.

Bye, then.

Goodbye.

(telephone hangs up) (tires screeching) Not a word, Adams.

Not a word to anyone.

JOE: Morning, Nolly!

I wondered if you could sign this.

It's, uh, it's for my best friend's birthday.

She's gonna be 55.

POPPY (voiceover): So in this scene, when she says that she's sorry, do you think she's really sorry?

Because in the next scene, when Meg's gone, she sounds a bit mean.

I think she's lying, don't you?

RODNEY (voiceover): You know, I was thinking, Noele, if you don't mind, the script says Meg's by the kitchen door, but I thought, if you were at the bar, that could be nice.

'Cause I can get a good angle on three.

If that's okay with you.

♪ ♪ Sure.

Great-- thanks.

Uh, and Poppy.

If you can come in from the entrance.

♪ ♪ SUE (voiceover, on monitor): I'm worried about Meg.

RONNIE (voiceover, on monitor): Are you?

In what way?

Is it me, or does she seem distracted?

Well, we can't exactly have helped, can we, with all our troubles?

I told you we're over all that.

As long as James Corbett has your manuscript, I don't think we'll ever be free.

But that's not the point.

I was talking about Meg.

I think we've taken our eye off her.

And I'm not being rude, but... Hmm, makes a change.

No, stop it, darling.

But sometimes I think... Don't you think she's getting... Old?

As are we all.

But it makes me wonder, David.

How long she can stay running a business like this?

She built this motel.

From the ground up.

She built it as a monument to her dead husband, who's long since dead and gone, and time moves on, David.

Time moves on.

What are you getting at, Barbara?

I'm saying that one day Meg might not be here, and there's an awful lot of work for those left behind, plus an awful lot of money.

(theme playing) POPPY: It was me.

I stole it.

And then I tried to blame Benny.

I'm really sorry.

I don't know why I did it.

All I can say is, I'm very disappointed.

In fact, I am outraged.

I took you in as a member of my family.

POPPY: It's a problem I've had for a long time, Mrs. Mortimer.

I'm really trying, hard.

I won't do it again.

Well, it's a sword that cuts both ways, isn't it?

If I trust you, I can't win.

If I don't trust you, I can't win.

So what am I to do?

♪ ♪ (whispering): Are you all right?

POPPY: I never meant to upset her.

JANE: Well, it's a bit late for tears now, young lady.

You need to find a way to regain her trust.

And pronto.

Don't mind me.

I've just seen Mrs. Mortimer.

She's got a face like thunder.

Hope everything's okay.

JANE (sighs): Diane, it's been a very upsetting morning.

But I don't get why!

They must have said something!

I think they want to kill the show.

Cut off the head, mm.

I'm not being rude, Nolly, and forgive me for saying it, but, well, you do have a certain predilection for married men.

I mean, you and this Charles Denton didn't...

Absolutely not!

Well, he sounds like a spurned lover!

I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole!

SUSAN: Well, they're going to regret it.

You'll walk straight into another job.

Top billing!

Not after I've been sacked.

My name is going to be poison.

Never mind my age.

Well, they haven't told the press?

Well, I think they're waiting for me.

SUSAN: Well, that's it, then!

Tell them you resigned, that's what you do!

Get in there first and tell the papers it's a resignation.

Do you think?

SUSAN: Well, you've got enough contacts, all those journalists-- reel them in.

Tell them you're off to star in the West End.

Hey, tell them you're doing "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"

with Diana Dors.

And I want ten percent for that, thank you very much.

(chuckles): But this is great!

It's good news.

It's Noele Gordon leaving behind her tatty old soap... Um, sorry, Tony.

Oh, God, no, it's (muted).

And becoming the star she always was!

Announce your resignation, Nolly.

Take center stage and beat those bloody men!

(elevator bell dings) (reporters talking in background) (cameras clicking) ♪ ♪ (door opens) (door closes) POPPY: Where did they come from?

Shall I ask them to go?

I don't know, have we got security?

Do we need them?

POPPY: What's going on?

Ask her.

What is it?

What are they there for?

What's wrong?

Nolly, what exactly is happening?

(breathes deeply) In ten.

(quietly): Now remember, you've resigned-- this is fine.

This was always your plan.

You've handed in your resignation because you wanted to.

The decision to resign is yours and yours alone.

(reporters talking in background) REPORTERS: Nolly!

Nolly!

Gentlemen, I have been sacked!

(quietly): Or that.

(Nolly continues) They can't sack Mother!

Why would anyone do that?

That's ridiculous.

They, they can't!

What, what about us?

Hold on a minute, what happens to us?

Sister George.

I am shattered and devastated.

I have been brutally axed, and my heart is utterly broken.

Nolly, I'm from "ATV Today."

Do you have a message for your loyal fans?

Oh, you're from ATV, are you?

Well, let me just say, you wouldn't have a job if it wasn't for me!

(quietly): I think we should... No, I wasn't just an actress here.

(cameras clicking) I was staff.

I was the spine of ATV.

And the heart.

And the soul.

And the guts.

I practically invented daytime TV.

"Crossroads" was built around me.

Everyone says the star of the show is the motel, but let me tell you, the star of the show is not a bunch of flats held together by plywood and Sellotape and spit.

The star of the show has been sacked!

Charles Denton sacked me.

He.

Sacked.

Me.

(door opens, closes) (switch clicks, footsteps approaching) (keys jangling) ♪ ♪ (exhales) LOUGHTY (on television): In the headlines today, the Queen of the Midlands has lost her throne.

The actress Noele Gordon has spoken out today to say she is shattered and devastated at the news she has been sacked from the long-running television program "Crossro"... ♪ ♪ (phones ringing throughout) I'll give Nolly your love.

I will.

I promise.

She's loved by all of us.

(phones ringing) I'm really very sorry, but there's nothing more I can do-- bye-bye.

Hello, "Crossroads," can I help you?

No!

(phones ringing) No, there's no need for that kind of language.

(phones continue ringing, people talking in background) ♪ ♪ (bag thuds heavily) (bag thuds heavily) ♪ ♪ SECRETARY: You've stirred up quite a hornet's nest.

(exhales) (journalists clamoring) WOMEN (chanting outside): Save our Meg!

Save our Meg!

Meg is magic!

Save our Meg!

Meg is magic!

(cheering) (cheering continues) WOMAN: We love you, Nolly!

We love you, Nolly!

We haven't decided how she'll die.

It could be an explosion.

Concorde could fall out of the sky and land on her head.

(chuckles): She could be hit by a bus or, or swallowed by a whale.

(laughing): Yeah!

If that's your final word on the matter, I wish you good luck.

But I warn you, I'll be waiting.

(theme playing) And recording break.

Hold it there.

Wait till we get the clear.

SUE (quietly): I thought that was cruel.

The Concorde remark.

I mean, this is your death.

Where's the respect?

KEITH: And that's a clear!

We're on to yellows, scene seven.

Quick as we can, everybody, bit of a big scene.

Let's keep it down.

And we're dressing it for the Harvest Festival.

Darling, well done.

That was very nice.

Thank you, Ron.

KEITH: Okay, Nolly, we need you on set.

Um, Miss Gordon.

We're on scene seven.

(groans) Okay, everyone, we've got a little problem.

Editec's gone down.

We'll be two minutes-- stay in position.

(people talking in background) I wouldn't blame her if she never came back.

This would never have happened with Reg Watson.

I'm telling you, they want to axe the show.

We're next.

JANE: Well, that doesn't make sense.

Just axe it, don't pick on Mother.

Well, it's all contractual, if you look at the paperwork, because two years ago, she hit retirement age, on, uh, Christmas Day, which means she's now on a pension, which is money from a different source, so this way, means they don't have to pay an extra wage on top.

Like Benny says in that scene tomorrow, um... (smacks lips): Oh, what is it?

You know.

What's the, what's the line?

I've got a proposition.

I say if she goes, we all go.

Are you serious?

SUSAN: We go upstairs.

We say to Jack, "If you get rid of Nolly, we're walking out.

All of us!"

RONNIE: I think that might be a little... Hasty.

Well, you would say that.

Because if she goes, then there's room at the top of the Crossroads Motel, and some people stand to benefit.

SUE: Excuse me, are you making accusation... Do you mean us?

Well, let's face it, you're one of the last two debutantes to be presented to the queen.

You've always wanted to rule this place.

RONNIE: That's... Slanderous.

Ha!

JANE: Oh, gosh, if that's true, Mother will be absolutely devastated.

SUE: Well, it doesn't really matter what she thinks, she'll be gone.

TONY: Harsh but true-- in this modern world, it's every man for himself.

Oh, you stand to profit, as well!

You'll have more to do around here!

How dare you!

(as Benny): Money is the root of all evil, Miss Diane.

SUE: Look, like it or not, she's going.

And if we play our cards right, "Crossroads" will reap the rewards.

I am shocked to the core!

Do you seriously want Mother gone?

It's about time someone said it.

She's a relic of the past.

I'll not listen to one more word of this!

That fine woman!

Being denigrated by people not fit!

Well, if she goes, that's the last this motel will see of Shughie McFee!

SUE: Well, I find this harvest loaf a very great weight to bear.

SUSAN: You know what this means, don't you?

Mark my words!

It's the end of the Crossroads Motel!

♪ ♪ Best episode ever.

(elevator bell dings) (people talking in background) MAGGIE: Molly, Amrita-- canteen, come on.

Thank you, Ivor.

(clears throat) (telephone ringing in background) Nolly.

Jack.

Problem?

Concorde.

Was that a joke?

We haven't decided how she dies yet, we've got to have meetings.

Yes, but you wouldn't do that.

You wouldn't have an aeroplane land on my head.

Would you?

Life is strange.

All the same, I really don't think...

I mean, look at poor Jo Richardson.

Shot her last scene, walked out of that studio, flew to the Seychelles, went for a swim... Drowned or murdered, we still don't know, and that was real life.

Yes, but this is a choice.

This story is going to be chosen.

That's it, isn't it?

That's the point.

That's our job, to sit up here and choose.

Death by gunshot, death by dog, death by canal.

Death on her wedding day, when Maureen fell under the wheels of a bus-- how unlucky was that?

But that's what we're paid to do.

Hmm, yes, but you plan this stuff in the boardroom, with no idea what it's like on the shop floor.

Excuse me?

No, I'm not having that.

Charles Denton can recline in his London club, not me.

I've done the hard work.

Left home when I was 14.

Ran off with the circus, literally.

I lived with the family of Coco the Clown, and let me tell you, backstage with clowns, that's savage.

I have seen it all, Nolly.

Then why the (muted) don't you care?!

(door opens and closes in distance) I said I won't beg.

But...

I don't want her to die.

It's not a real death.

But still... My hands are tied.

Orders from above.

And the budget has been drawn up for next year without you.

Oh, I'm not asking to stay.

I'll go.

I've lost.

I'm leaving.

You can write me out.

I accept that.

But...

I have been here for so long.

My mother died.

I came to work.

That boy played my son.

He was my son for 18 years.

He died four months ago, and then they do this to me.

So, I'm asking you, please... ♪ ♪ Don't kill me.

Change the story.

Save my life.

But you're not dying.

This is Meg we're talking about.

Is it?

Back to work.

♪ ♪ (button buzzes) (elevator bell dings) (screams) ♪ ♪ NOELE: Do I die?

Is it murder?

Heart attack?

Do I get married?

JACK: We have one ending, and I have that locked away where no one can see it.

NOELE: Do you think I'd let them stop me?

(women gasp) I'm only just getting started.

I've got plans.

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